Nontheist Friends

“Os, at Radnor Meeting we accept atheists!” This was during an interview when, at 18 years of age, I was asked me to confirm my Quaker membership. God had no place in my personal religion but honesty did and I was fumbling with the questions that touched on Quaker doctrine. The kind Friend’s comment sustained me for many years. It meant I could be a member while finding my views and my place among Friends.

During the next 32 years I kept quiet about the paradox of being a Quaker who was uncomfortable with what most others were saying about their experience and beliefs. I didn’t attend meeting for worship very often because of this, seeing myself as a Quaker because I lived in accord with the testimonies as much as possible.

Then, at the age of 50, as I walked into my parents’ home, Mother thrust a copy of Friends Journal into my hands, tapped it sharply and said, “You’ll want to read that!”  She was right. It was a reprint of Jesse Holmes’ 1928 essay, “To the Scientifically-Minded”. In it he wrote, “It is a Society of Friends. Friends claim no authority but owe each other friendliness…Our unity consists, therefore, in having a common purpose, not a common creed….God is…the name of certain common experiences of mankind by which they are bound together into unity.”

I shivered after reading that. The reason keeping me away from Quakers became a reason to reach out to them! Perhaps there were more Quakers than I knew who held down-to-earth views.

For many years, I had been a sojourning member of Monteverde Monthly Meeting without transferring my membership from Radnor to avoid confronting others with my nontheist views. Now I reconsidered the question. Monteverde’s richly Christian Discipline presented a problem but the following words in the introduction opened a door: “The spiritual values in the Discipline are presented as suggestions rather than commands. It questions or queries rather than giving specific answers. It places upon the individual conscience, rather than upon external authority, the responsibility for the discipline of the spirit.” I was free to interpret the document, in fact it was expected.

The first occasion to speak out was at a discussion of the question, “What does Jesus Christ mean to me?” I answered without mentioning God or other miraculous phenomena and people listened with interest. One other person spoke in similar terms.

Finally, I applied for membership, describing my naturalistic views that I hoped would not be a hindrance. During the worshipful consideration of my request, a Friend was moved to say, “Os, it is you we love!” Again, a few words affirmed my place among Friends. I felt as if, after turning and turning, I had come down right.

Life went on as before but now I occasionally mentioned my views. Sadly, some Friends, not members of my meeting, lashed out in response. A prominent Quaker professor at Earlham College snapped, “Well, then we don’t have anything more to talk about,” and walked away. A member of the Steering Committee of the Quaker Universalist Fellowship said in exasperation, “Why do you bother going to meeting on Sunday mornings? Why not just stay in bed and read the newspaper?”  A member of Mount Holly Monthly meeting, who was on my clearness committee, published these words in Friends Journal: “I have re-examined my thinking on ’secular humanism’ (atheism) and now see that it does not belong within the Religious Society of friends. Whenever we admit a secular humanist we are telling the world with our action, ‘You don’t need to believe in God to be a Quaker.’ I hope Friends will give this serious thought before opening our membership to anyone regardless of beliefs.”

This strengthened my resolve. I not only spoke out but I tried to become an agent for change, helping those who are suffering because their views differ from the views of others, and helping assure that future nontheists will be welcome in many meetings.

Before asking to transfer my membership from Monteverde to Mount Holly, I spoke personally with each member and attender of the meeting. Happily, most of them were delighted and those who felt a hindrance kindly offered their support, in any case. It has been several years now, and we are getting along very well together.

I look forward to eventually moving back to my previous position of only making occasional comments in a quiet voice, or even to the first one of anonymity. It looks like this will be possible because of the interest others are taking in the condition of nontheists among Friends.

It has been a long journey and a satisfying one because of the diverse people met along the way and our joy in traveling together.

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